If you like this, you’ll love my screenplay about beef jerky.
EXT. CITY SIDEWALK — NOON
Two friends walk together. Each of them holds a coffee cup and a to-go bag of food. EVAN is well dressed. JAKE's shirt is stained by what appears to be hot dog water.
JAKE
Thanks for getting lunch with me,
man. I need some human contact.
EVAN
Yeah, dude, of course. How's the
job hunt going?
Jake abruptly stops walking. He looks wounded.
JAKE
You really shouldn't lead off with
that, Evan.
EVAN
Sorry.
JAKE
It's just a really loaded question.
They approach a park bench and sit down.
EVAN
Alright then, what kind of bagel
did you get?
JAKE
A salt bagel.
Evan is perplexed by this. Maybe even a little worried.
EVAN
A salt bagel. Why?
JAKE
Y'know, to do something different.
Spice things up.
EVAN
Salt's not a spice.
JAKE
Sure —
EVAN
It's a seasoning.
JAKE
I meant just like... Changing my
routine a little bit. Breaking out
of a funk.
They start to unwrap their bagels.
EVAN
So I take it things aren't going
too well.
JAKE
Being unemployed is tough, man. I'm
just sending emails all day while
my friends are at work.
EVAN
That's what work is.
Sending emails all day.
JAKE
Right, but mine are desperate.
Evan looks over at his friend's unwrapped bagel and frowns.
EVAN
A salt bagel... So it's a pretzel?
JAKE
What? No. Pretzels are shaped
differently.
Jake draws a pretzel loop in the air with his finger.
EVAN
So it's a pretzel with half
as many holes in it?
Jake considers this possibility. They both take a bite of
their bagels.
JAKE
No, this salt is different.
Pretzels have a weird salt.
EVAN
What? No they don't.
JAKE
Yeah they do. When you get one
at a basketball game or something —
EVAN
You really can't afford to eat at
sporting events.
JAKE
— the salt is really white and
almost chalky. It's different.
Evan shrugs. They chew in silence for a second.
EVAN
Okay, last question.
JAKE
Jesus.
EVAN
What does one get on a salt bagel?
JAKE
I got lox.
EVAN
Salt fish.
Jake stares down at his bagel, laden with salt, suddenly feeling the weight of all the stress that has accumulated inside of his body. Evan senses the emotion of this moment and decides to cheer up his friend.
EVAN
Listen, I wanted to see you
because I think I have a job
lead for you. My agency is hiring,
and I put your name in.
JAKE
Really? You have no idea how
much that means to me.
EVAN
Really, it's no big deal. I think
you'd be perfect for the job, and
I told the recruiter that.
We're close, she trusts me.
JAKE
I don't know how to thank you, Evan.
Evan puts his arm around Jake and pulls him close.
EVAN
When she calls, don't bring up
the salt bagel thing.
JAKE
Why would I?
EVAN
I don't know, it just seems like
a big deal in your life right now.
Jake stares at Evan. He snatches the other half of Evan's bagel from the bag and throws it into the street.
EVAN
Why would you do that?
JAKE
You ordered a bacon egg and
cheese on a cinnamon raisin bagel.
EVAN
And?
JAKE
I can't take favors from a man like you.
Jake takes a bite of his salt bagel and smiles to himself. Even if he's still unemployed, he has done the right thing. It feels good to do the right thing.